Victorious, Free from Sin and Death once more

There have been many times in my life where I have sought forgiveness from God, but this last week is the first time in my life where that place around my heart is shining with light, instead of being black with pain and anger. I feel truly free from the wages of sin and death.

I felt like a catus wanting a Hug desperately, and my name was Victim.

So what changed?

I made a choice. We all have to make this choice. Sometimes this choice comes to us only once, sometimes multiple times, if we are lucky. This choice is whether or not we are going to die to our sins and take up the cross and follow Christ or stay where we are; angry, in pain and holding everyone around hostage to pay for the injustice life brought.

A wall of Pride was blinding me from seeing the unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, and contempt I had been holding since I was >5 years old. Slowly and Gently my God brought me to a place where I could see it. I choose to give Him my pain, my anguish, confess my unforgiveness, my pride, my anger, and my contempt. In place of those things, which were killing me from the inside out, I was given Peace, Grace, and Abounding Love.

The Victim died, as the wages of sin is Death:

And in it's place, a new name:

My sister-in-law once said she had a vision of me. That God gave me a sword of Truth, piercing the heart of the demon of Lies and bringing all truth into the light whether it be good or bad.

In the story I told of my sister's death, I briefly mention the sweet soft voice in my ear.: http://katshel.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-sister.html

It was more than a voice. The wall I put up prevented me from seeing the picture of Jesus in the room as I asked Him to be there in my fear. Jesus came and held my hand, put His hand on my shoulder and held me that day. Hung out with me on the couch and was there for my parents. He allowed me to see how my sweet dad had been lost in his own fears of being the lone responsible adult with his dead child. Oh the pain my dad must have suffered with the feeling of failure crushing him at every turn. The cycle of abuse satan used to Kill Steal and Destroy with the fuel to the fire of injustice cycling through family after family all continuing till I made a choice.

I say this not with a hot head or with pride in my heart, but with a heart of gratitude for where God brought me from.

God choose me intentionally. God loves me, made me, is there in the pit with me holding my hand. God is changing me right in front of you.  God is changing those around me as I continue to make the choice.

Psalms 139, Romans 8:31-39, Jeremiah 29:11, Psalms 91:1

God knew what his was getting when he made me. With all my weaknesses, and all my strengths and I am choosing to praise HIM and give HIM the glory for the work he is doing in my life.