There are three areas: Mental, Emotional, and Physical. There are 122 different types in Wikipedia.
I have to find a way to define what abuse means to me. It is hard to define Mental and Emotional because they are ambiguous.
Here is my list of Abusive words I identify with and feel I have experienced as well as their definitions for clarity of my meaning:
* Coercion (pron.: /koʊˈɜrʃən/) is the practice of forcing another party to act in an involuntary manner (whether through action or inaction) by use of threats or intimidation or some other form of pressure or force, and describes a set of various different similar types of forceful actions that violate the free will of an individual to induce a desired response. These actions can include, but are not limited to, extortion, blackmail, torture, and threats to induce favors. Such actions are used as leverage, to force the victim to act in a way contrary to their own interests. Coercion may involve the actual infliction of physical pain/injury or psychological harm in order to enhance the credibility of a threat.
* Emotional blackmail is a form of psychological manipulation - it is "the use of a system of threats and punishment on a person by someone close to them in an attempt to control their behavior".[1] "Emotional blackmail... typically involves two people who have established a close personal or intimate relationship (mother and daughter, husband and wife, sister and sister, two close friends)."[2] When subjected to emotional blackmail, "we become the other's emotional hostage." As Jean Baudrillard puts it: "If you don't give me that, you will be responsible for mybreakdown".[3]Emotional blackmailers use fear, obligation and guilt in their relationships, ensuring that the victim feels afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way and feeling guilty if they don't: indeed Forward and Frazier invent the acronym FOG, standing for Fear, Obligation, Guilt - feelings which often result from being exposed to emotional blackmail when in a relationship with a person who suffers from a personality disorder.[8]
I am not sure why I put this in here, but I related to it somehow.
(Fear(survival)-induced pre-emptive aggression
According to philosopher and neuroscientist Nayef Al-Rodhan, “fear(survival)-induced pre-emptive aggression” is a human reaction to injustices that are perceived to threaten survival. It is often the root of the unthinkable brutality and injustice perpetuated by human beings. It may occur at any time, even in situations that appear to be calm and under control. Where there is injustice that is perceived as posing a threat to survival, “fear(survival)-induced pre-emptive aggression” will result in individuals taking whatever action necessary to be free from that threat.)
* Aggressive anger
The symptoms of aggressive anger are:
- Bullying, such as threatening people directly, persecuting, pushing or shoving, using power to oppress, shouting, driving someone off the road, playing on people's weaknesses.
- Destructiveness, such as destroying objects, harming animals, destroying a relationship, reckless driving, substance abuse.
- Grandiosity, such as showing off, expressing mistrust, not delegating, being a sore loser, wanting center stage all the time, not listening, talking over people's heads, expecting kiss and make-up sessions to solve problems.
- Hurtfulness, such as physical violence, including sexual abuse and rape, verbal abuse, biased or vulgar jokes, breaking a confidence, using foul language, ignoring people's feelings, willfullydiscriminating, blaming, punishing people for unwarranted deeds, labeling others.
- Manic behavior, such as speaking too fast, walking too fast, working too much and expecting others to fit in, driving too fast, reckless spending.
- Selfishness, such as ignoring others' needs, not responding to requests for help, queue jumping.
- Threats, such as frightening people by saying how one could harm them, their property or their prospects, finger pointing, fist shaking, wearing clothes or symbols associated with violent behaviour, tailgating, excessively blowing a car horn, slamming doors.
- Unjust blaming, such as accusing other people for one's own mistakes, blaming people for your own feelings, making general accusations.
- Unpredictability, such as explosive rages over minor frustrations, attacking indiscriminately, dispensing unjust punishment, inflicting harm on others for the sake of it, using alcohol and drugs,[21] illogical arguments.
- Vengeance, such as being over-punitive, refusing to forgive and forget, bringing up hurtful memories from the past.
I just read all the symptoms of Passive anger and they describe everything that I have been doing in my life:
Passive anger can be expressed in the following ways:
·
Dispassion, such as giving someone the cold shoulder or a fake smile, looking
unconcerned or "sitting on the fence"
while others sort things out, dampening feelings with substance abuse,
overreacting, oversleeping, not responding to another's anger, frigidity,
indulging in sexual practices that depress spontaneity and make objects of
participants, giving inordinate amounts of time to machines, objects or
intellectual pursuits, talking of frustrations but showing no feeling.
·
Evasiveness, such as turning one's back in a crisis, avoiding conflict, not
arguing back, becoming phobic.
·
Defeatism,
such as setting yourself and others up for
failure, choosing unreliable people to depend on, being accident prone, underachieving, sexual impotence,
expressing frustration at insignificant things but ignoring serious ones.
·
Obsessive behavior, such as needing to be inordinately clean and
tidy, making a habit of constantly checking things, over-dieting or overeating,
demanding that all jobs be done perfectly.
·
Psychological
manipulation,
such as provoking people to aggression and then patronizing them, provoking
aggression but staying on the sidelines, emotional blackmail, false tearfulness, feigning illness, sabotaging relationships,
using sexual provocation, using a third party to convey negative feelings,
withholding money or resources.
·
Secretive behavior, such as stockpiling resentments that are expressed behind
people's backs, giving the silent treatment or under the breath mutterings, avoiding eye contact, putting
people down, gossiping,
anonymous complaints, poison pen letters, stealing, and conning.
·
Self-blame,
such as apologizing too often, being overly critical, inviting criticism.
·
Self-sacrifice, such as being overly helpful, making do with second best, quietly
making long-suffering signs but refusing help,
or lapping up gratefulness.[citation needed]
WOW!! So Really I have been so angry for so long and adopted all these to express it. Moving on...
* Rage (often called fury or frenzy) is a feeling of intense or growing anger. It is associated with the Fight-or-flight response and oftentimes activated in response to an external cue, such as the murder of a loved one or some other kind of serious offense. The phrase, 'thrown into a fit of rage,' expresses the immediate nature of rage that occurs before deliberation. If left unchecked rage may lead to violence. Depression and anxiety lead to an increased susceptibility to rage and there are modern treatments for this emotional pattern.
* Spiritual abuse: Spiritual abuse occurs when a person in religious authority or a person with a unique spiritual practice misleads and maltreats another person in the name of God or church or in the mystery of any spiritual concept. Spiritual abuse often refers to an abuser using spiritual or religious rank in taking advantage of the victim's spirituality (mentality and passion on spiritual matters) by putting the victim in a state of unquestioning obedience to an abusive authority.
* An insult is an expression, statement (or sometimes behavior) which is considered degrading, offensive and impolite. Insults (sometimes called "cracks" "remarks" or one-liners)[1] may be intentional or accidental.[citation needed] An insult may be factual, but at the same time pejorative, such as the word "inbred".
* Lie: To lie is to deliver a false statement to another person which the speaking person knows is not the whole truth, intentionally.
The discoverer of a lie may also be convinced or coerced to collaborate with the liar, becoming part of a conspiracy. They may actively propagate the lie to other parties, actively prevent the lie's discovery by other parties, or simply omit publicizing the lie (a secondary lie of omission).
When one lies, one undermines trust in society.
* Blame is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. There are other senses of praise and blame that are not ethically relevant.
* Victim playing by abusers is either:
- diverting attention away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person's bad behavior (typically the victim)
- soliciting sympathy from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or enabling the abuse of a victim (known as proxy abuse).
It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:
- justification to themselves – as a way of dealing with the cognitive dissonance that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
- justification to others – as a way of escaping harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others
Another word I found I identify with:
Learned helplessness is the condition of a human or animal that has learned to behave helplessly, failing to respond even though there are opportunities for it to help itself by avoiding unpleasant circumstances or by gaining positive rewards. Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.[1] Organisms that have been ineffective and less sensitive in determining the consequences of their behavior are defined as having acquired learned helplessness.[2]
In the learned helplessness experiment an animal is repeatedly hurt by an adverse stimulus which it cannot escape. Eventually the animal will stop trying to avoid the pain and behave as if it is utterly helpless to change the situation.
This is all I could find on what Abuse means to me and how I have and are affected by the repercussions of abuse in my life.
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