What am I doing?

It makes me laugh the amount of times I hear this question!

                                  What are you doing?

From Owen

Me: I am playing a game on the computer.
O: Why?
Me: Cause it is fun and relaxing.
O: Why?
Me: What are you doing?
O: I want to watch you.
Me: Ok, see.
O: What is that? Why are you doing that? Look at me Car! Want to play cars with me?
Me: Not right now I am playing this game.
O: Can I watch you? (Pushing me aside so he can literally touch the screen with his nose while asking me more questions.





                                                                                               From Rachel

                                           
Me: Playing my game, just like what I was explaining to O.
Rachel: That looks weird, why are you doing it like that. I want to see. (pushing me to the other side of the chair and now getting into it with Owen)

On and on...till I put my computer down after just 10 min to get up and get them started on something. Which ends up not being a relaxing 10 min after a long day at work.

The last week of every month is always SUPER busy for me.

Thank goodness for a pretty rigid schedule, or I would get nothing done. My hubby helps me stay motivated to keep to the schedule, as well as Rachel, who really thrives on a schedule and seems lost or anxious without knowing what comes next.

So what am I doing....heading to the pile of cloths on my bed so I can go to sleep...eventually! :0)

Too Honest

Have you ever googled, "being too honest"?

So many people grappling with this issue! I believe I am too honest. I try really hard not to be cruel, but I know I am also not perfect.

Abraham Lincoln was called, "Honest Abe". Taylor Swift was accused of pious honesty.

Thomas Jefferson- very shrewd and insightful. Warren Buffett.

What about you? Are you Too Honest, or Too Kind, or Too fill in the blank?

I am working on saying things with kindness in the right moments, right times, right ways to ensure the cruel aspect of honest is not perceived as cruelty.

Wasn't Jesus too Honest? The bible says, the truth will set you free! The question then becomes; Are the people without the perception of honesty and being hurt or angry over the truth better off with the truth? Or is it that being brought into the light is more desirable, than if we perpetuate dishonest by never speaking the things we see as truth?  

What about being honest with business. In the business world, honesty is marketable in the right way.
"Biggest Loser", "Survivor", "Honey Boo-Boo". Society likes to mock honesty for the benefit of others, for the biggest bang for the dollar or bring others to the lowest depths to show how big and strong they are.

We are all vulnerable. Isn't that the platform of all religion. The TRUTH that we are all vulnerable to reputation, status, health, culture, bias, that religion is an equalizer. ALL have fallen short and are sinners. We all need a savior, a friend, companion, dad, mom, nurse, doctor, LOVE!

'There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus' I get to wake up and be new~new mom, employee, daughter, friend, wife, playmate, maid, butler, waitress, lover, princess, queen, little girl, grown woman, leader, sinner.

So much to say So little time

I like to listen to NPR. What is NPR your ask? National Public Radio

I listen to it all day at work and learn so much. I wish I could talk back as I listen and join the conversation. However, I can't talk on the phone...talk personal with my co-workers, get on any non work web sites so I have lots of comments all day. I hope to get home and type them all out on this cool thing to invite more conversation. However, by the time I have three different conversations with hubby, a quick chat with mom, play with the kids, cook dinner, serve dinner, clean up, do dishes or guilt my 8 year old to doing the dishes, sit and eat, and get on the computer, I forget. I forget all the beautifully phrased arguments I have been thinking about, forming and going no where.

So a rant....My job sucks right now. The Union and the Company are working out a new contract for labor and I feel like I am worth krap! We got an email that says we need to track potty breaks, when we help our co-workers, talk to anyone about anything. Some people are even refusing to talk about anything personal on the floor. I care about all the people I work with, and my customers, probably a little too much. But that is why I am good at my job. I am honest, hard working, and caring. I feel like a monkey....push buttons, don't talk, don't think, but don't mess up and you better do it fast, and have a good attitude.

Aaahhh....on a side note. We can't get a house cause we need a $300,000 house for $200,000 and we have just a little egg to put down for closing costs, earnest money, inspections, ect. I feel locked into a system. We just watched Dr Who Season 3.4 about the New New York and the Traffic Jam-for years and years there was an outbreak of a virus that killed the upper city. The population of the upper city locked the lower levels to save the lower level population. They were dying of smog, stuck in cars for years and years moving a few feet every once and a while. That is how I feel. We are stuck in a system of paying out everything we get in and never getting ahead or moving out of all the monopolies.

There are more houses over $1 million than the rest of the whole country, and the housing costs are going up...not down. There are not many new houses in the area and if there are new houses, they are over $250,000. If they are under that, they will need at least $20,000 worth of work to really make them live-able.

Facebook asks me how I am doing now and then. Well, that rant being over we are doing really good. (I know a total contradiction to what I was just saying) We have money in the bank, jobs, food, a roof over our heads, in-door plumbing, pets. Our kid goes to a private school and is doing great at her work. We have TV, go on dates, have a great church, wonderful times together as a family. We have great friends and we have big dreams!

In the face of all the odds against us, I am believing that God will do what needs to be done to fulfill our hearts desires. The end is not the goal it is how you get there...so am I going to be thankful for everyday no matter where I end up? Yes I am!

Sick Kids

What do you do when your kids are sick?

What do you do when you and your kids are sick?

My favorite Picture of my daughter...three and sick.

I think it is the pants that rock the sick look! LOL

"They" say to give your kids extra cuddles, and lovin. Feed em their favorite foods, and have them drink lots of water. Yes, I have a link:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_40-ways-to-entertain-your-kids-while-lying-down_10350158.bc

When my daughter was 8 months old, she was just crawling and I was sicker than a dog walking who is on his way out of this world. I was laying down and had the humidifier going strong. I had put Vicks in the holder and was hot, melted. When it happened. Rachel reached out and grabbed the Vicks with her bare hand. I was to far away to grab her little hand before she grabbed for it and just far enough to watch it in slow motion, yelling 'Noooooo'.

She cried, I cried! I called my moms, rushed her to the doctor where my doctor giggled a little and dressed Rachel's third degree burns gently. Oh the guilt that set !! If you are a mommy or daddy you know what I am talking about.

I think the emotions of a situation help you remember it. Praise Jesus she was fine. No scaring, and mommy learned to never put a humidifier down with a crawling baby.

Today we have two sick kids, sneezing, sour throats, little fevers. Reminds me of waking up to cleaning beds, catching puke with your hands, and lots and lots of cuddles. And for all the parents that came before us as they settled this great country we are lucky to live in.

Sick Children and Underfed ParentsDR A. G.ABBOTT'S STRONGCOMMENT

Ninety-five per cent, of the children on the Northcliffe group settlement require medical attention urgently, and their parents are too impoverished to aid them.People on the settlement do not get sufficient nourish- ment, and many of them will have to abandon their holdings in consequence and go on the dole. — Dr. A. G. Abbott, of Pemberton. 1933 Newspaper Artical
"...new common house burned to the ground on 14 January 1621 and the ship was the only shelter the colonists had. 

Not long after the house burned, the "General Sickness" swept through the group, devastating colonists and crew alike. No one knows what this illness was, though it may have been pneumonia." http://www.millsgen.com/gen/hist/pilstor4.htm

Fat and Happy?

I have a problem with food. I can't hide it, cause no one is blind. I can change it, but I am struggling with how.

When I was in 4th grade, I was overweight. The kids made fun of me and I developed quickly. I slimmed out by 9th grade, once my body figured out how to function after puberty. It also helped that my mom and I were broke. By Senior year I was about 160 lbs, and considered heavy for my height at 5'5. I went off to college and gained the freshman 20.

Then I moved in with my dad, and got a medical exam. I was told that I was WAY obese at 180lbs, my cholesterol was through the roof and my blood sugar was over 200. I was told that if I didn't loose  weight I was going to die before I turned 30. At the time I was 20.

I was put on a version of what I was told was a diabetic diet. One serving of carbohydrates a day, three meals, no snacks. Some days if I had done something wrong, I got one meal. I walked one hour 6 days a week, and was followed to make sure I was actually walking. I was screamed at to go faster as I was being followed now and then if I had done something wrong....like not cleaned the bathroom well enough or whatever. I lost 35lbs in 3months and was 145-150 for 21/2 years.

I found out that the stats the doctor had given me was a lie. During the same time I was told that I was bipolar and put on Depakote  I was taking about 1500mg/day for about a year. When I met my hubby, which is another story for another day....he helped me get the courage to go seek out a doctor to help me off of the Depakote. Then I gained 100lbs.

I gained the 100lbs to make someone mad. It worked, but at what cost? Now, I have this mindset that eating is treating myself. It is taking care of me, comforting, and when I start to loose weight I get this anxious feeling that comes along with fear....anger...the people around me suffer.

How do a change this mindset. I know how to loose weight. I know more about nutrition, and health than anyone I know. So it comes down to the mind set and I don't have the answers to this one.

My goal is to outlive my parents. Today, 2/3 I am 5'6 and weight 278lbs Obese, borderline Diabetic, cholesterol high. I am sedentary. I joined a yoga class once a week, that I love. I love Jillian Michaels on the Biggest Losser. The only time I heard anything close to an answer for my issue was when Jillian invited her mom to her podcast....I know the answer is out there. I am going to look, trust that God will direct me, heal me and keep you posted.