Merry Christmas 2013

Oh Hello There....

I have been sooo stinkin busy I haven't had time to write at all. I am sure you mom's out there totally get where I am coming from.

I turned 35 this year...most people don't share their age...but I am pretty proud of it. I have survived 35 years...and that should totally be celebrated~in my humblest of opinions.

For my birthday this year...I got Type II Diabetes, a new diet to follow, which I am currently two weeks into, and starting to feel lots better.

Hubby got a new job!! YAYAY something we have been praying for...for a very long time. A career in computers is finally established. For the first time in our 13 years together, he is taking care of the finances...benefits...and my job is the extra now. What a fantastic Present!!
I got an enclosed ecosystem...something I have wanted since I was in the 7th or 8th grade:

We have struggled with this years holiday...figuring out what this means for our marriage, dealing with our fears, our joys, and learning another layer of what it means to Trust God to be our Jehova Jira.

We have had fun this month going to Ludefisk and Meatballs:

Rachel was less than impressed with them...but she will learn to love this tradition as she gets older...as a way to celebrate our roots in the Norwegian culture.





We went to snowflake lane together:

And...the Bellevue lights to see the cool dragon~Owen was so excited for.

We also served as a couple at our church for a cool event...and had some very special friends over so the boys could have a fun game night with out the kids all over them and so the kids could play and watch some fun holiday movies with popcorn!

We are now starting our 5 days of christmas...with the first being today, Sunday.

Whether you have a 100 family members or it is just you...Remember for the reason for the season this year.

Define Love

On the door step of the hasty Holidays...the definition of Love has been coming up over and over again.

How do you define Love?

 

There are all kinds...

Why?? Why doesn't it ever look the same?

I had a friend tell me today that Love is not definable. Yet there are tons and tons of songs...poems...stories...pictures...hopes...dreams...all for the pursuit of love. Some mom's say that they didn't know what love is till they held their baby in their arms for the first time.

The bible says: 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

1 Corinthians 13:8

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

2 Corinthians 8:8

I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others.

1 John 3:1

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

I have always gone by the theory that each person is love...and the people we run into are designed by God so that we can share our love with them...in order for each of us to see snips and blips of God. We need to hold everything we love with an open palm as to not crush it...like a butterfly who lands to get energy to be able to fly more.

We all touch each other for moments to gain the energy we need to keep going...to run the race as Peter says in :

Hebrews 12:1

King James Version (KJV)

12 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

This holiday season, I challenge you and myself to not look at what we get...but what we give and with the attitude we give. The love we show to those closest to us and the ones further from us...to perfect strangers, the ones we pass. If you pass one person and you don't know how to pray for them or show them love....learn them. The more love we give out the more love comes back. Can you imagine a season of love regardless of where people are at mentally, physically, poor, rich, fat, sick, or outrageous. What was the secret force of the Jedi in Star Wars?? It was Luke's ability to show love to his Father regardless of the pain caused physically and emotionally. Forgiveness is the ultimate release of love...right? Figure it out for yourself. Define Love.

Celebration Time~Come on!!

Holidays can be a hard time for people. Some don't celebrate at all. Some go way overboard and celebrate like crazy. Our family has chosen not to celebrate Halloween...we celebrate Harvest time.

Did you know that some people don't celebrate birthday's? What about Christmas? or Passover...Should Christians celebrate? Why would we politically correct in saying 'Happy Holiday' vs 'Merry Christmas'? Boxing Day..what is that-Do I need to start Celebrating that?

I think we can learn more about ourselves when we are open to seeing and hearing about what people celebrate and why. So I challenge you....why do you celebrate what you celebrate??

Whenever I questions things it helps me to define what the terms are. Here are some definitions:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiday: A holiday is a day set aside by custom or by law in which normal activities, especially business or work, are to be suspended or reduced.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebration_(party):A birthday party is a celebration of the anniversary of the birth of the person who is being honored. The tradition started in the mid-nineteenth century but didn't become popular until the mid-twentieth century

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing_day:Boxing Day is traditionally the day following Christmas Day, when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts from their bosses^[1] or employers, known as a "Christmas box". 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passover:The Jewish people celebrate Passover as a commemoration of their liberation over 3,300 years ago by God from slavery in ancient Egypt that was ruled by the Pharaohs, and their birth as a nation under the leadership of Moses. 

http://web.crownrelo.com/relo/in/india.holidays.html:Diwali - Diwali's original name is Deepawali and it is known as the "Festival of Lights." There are so many different stories about Diwali. One of the main customs is to light small candles called Diyas. Diwali is officially a one day holiday but it is celebrated for many days. 

National Unity Day / День народного единства  [dyehn' nah-rohd-nah-vah yeh-deen-stvah]
This holiday commemorates the liberation of Moscow from Polish occupation in 1612 as a result of the uprising led by Kuzma Minin and Dmitry Pozharsky. In a broader sense, the day signifies the end of the time of foreign intervention in Russia. It is celebrated in place of the former Revolution Day.
Read more: http://learningrussian.net/holidayscustoms/russian_holidays.php#May Day#ixzz2jdNygncV

Each family has their own traditions, histories, reasons, memories, and Fun!! I am looking forward to all the fun of the holidays the way we celebrate them. Here are some pictures of year's past:

Happy Harvest!

Sept 11

 Mothers Day!

                                                                                                  Forth of July

 Easter Fun!!

Valentines day!

We open Stockings on Christmas morning after all the gifts are opened. They aren't stuffed still Christmas Eve!:)

Norwegian Ludifisk & Meatballs

What Other People think...

Of me, is none of my Business.

It has taken me years and years and years to not care what people think of me. I have been a people please-er most of my life. Catering what other people need, bending over backwards and giving my shirt...pretty literally when I couldn't afford to loose it.

Tonight I got two peoples opinions of me that I did not ask for or initiate.

   The old me would have been crushed in a million pieces and it would have taken me days to get over what they said to me tonight. Today I claim a victory!!! I know who I am in Christ and what people think of me is a reflection of where their heart is not where I am at. What freedom in all of that! WOW!!

It doesn't matter to me if you think I am a babysitter for my kids, or a real hard working mom. It doesn't matter if you think I am stupid or smart, if I am fat or plump or just right or lovely. It doesn't matter if you think I am good with money or good at my job or a good wife. I know who I am and that is why it doesn't matter. I am loved and loving...the rest is everyone else's problem.

So how did I get here???-Learned who God thinks I am, Learned who I want to be, Learned to let go of everything else. Hurting people Hurt people!  

                                                                    

Who You Are

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSh8EqYH7Cw

Women...you have to watch this. I think I need to watch this every morning and every evening...till I really believe it.

Why is it so hard to accept?? I struggle accepting God's love, grace, and power. It is overwhelming, and yet comforting and freeing.

Women....you have to watch this. I needed to hear this tonight! When we feel like we can't go to another meeting, training, help someone else struggling, pick up that stupid toy on your way to bed that you just stepped on and left you in pain, listen to our husbands, or do another freaking load of laundry or dishes.

Why don't we give ourselves permission to not be perfect?? I struggle with perfectionism.

Women...you have to watch this. If you have breathe in your body there is still hope for change. I have a hard time grasping the change that comes.

Why don't we see the change...why don't we see the big picture in the present? I get tired of looking at the past to reference where I came from. Praise Jesus I am better than when I began.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSh8EqYH7Cw

Time Flies...?when we are having fun?

WOW!!! October is going to be here on Tuesday...seriously. I think I blinked and September was over.

I worked a ton of OverTime to help with the days off at the beginning of the month due to sick and Labor Day...plus AT&T and Apple had a big release. I love my job.

Lessons learned this month:
* God is in Control...not me!
* My kids are super resilient and super good!
* Paperwork will always be.
* I love my Family..hola to my Aunts, cousins, brothers/sisters!
* I really like the color Brown.
* Romans 15:13,and the bible sustains through the ages.

Let the fall begin!>>>

Fight Club

Have you ever watched Fight Club before? Stupid movie in my opinion, but then again I am not a guy and I don't like to beat up people...physically at least. I am well versed in emotional destruction.

My hubby and I fight. We fought for the first 10 years in bad ways. Yelling, screaming, calling each other names, pushing each others buttons, threats to walk away, the D word, throwing things, and we never prayed together.

So...we now have rules for fighting. I personally think ALL couples should have rules for fighting, but they both need to agree on the rules. Just like you have Learning Agreements in school, in office training programs or Scouting.

Words are a double edge sword...we do not use, "Why or You, Always, Never, or Every time."
We do not call each other names.
The D word in NEVER an option.
I choose him...he choose me.
Don't tell him how he feels, it will only be taken as disrespectful.
God gave us two ears and one mouth so we will listen more than we talk.
The louder one gets the quieter the other becomes. More can be said in a whisper than a scream.
When a touchy subject is hit, one says, 'I smell smoke.' It is a signal to the other that we need to stop talking and pray together.

We have found praying together so foundational. It is a way for me to hear his heart and where he is at and vice versa. We are able to share our thoughts and feelings in a third party way so less judgment about what is being said can heard and received.

Matthew 18:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

How the movie would change if it was a Prayer Club instead of a Fight Club. 

To Discipline or Not to Discipline....

that is the question.

I don't know about you, but discipline (giving it or receiving it) is super hard!

There are soooo many people that have techniques, ideas that number the stars, almost like dieting books. If someone figures out a something that works they write a book so it is recorded for all of history. I haven't figured it out yet, but I am closer than I was before!

My mom is SUPER lax when it comes to discipline, and since she watches the kids while I work it affects me and my hubby in how we discipline. My dad was SUPER authoritarian, the exact opposite of my mom. 

That makes me somewhere in the middle as a parent now. I think between my hubby and I we have worked out a good system...the rule of threes: http://katshel.blogspot.com/2012/10/three-rules.html

But not just for bed time!! 

Three rules for TimeOut: 1-Naughty with your body, 2-Naughty with your mouth, 3-Naughty to your ears

Thee rules for Guests: 1-Guests Rule!, 2-Doors stay open, 3-Ask before you do

Three rules to play outside: 1-Stay in Communication, 2-Don't Enter, 3-Come when Called

We work on one or two lessons at a time. Anymore than that and the lesson is lost. I have also learned consistency is key to teach the lesson well. I have to admit I don't think I do well with consistency, but I am better now than when the 9 year old was 3. Currently we are working on Not Touching Things that aren't Yours and Healthy Food Choices for the 9 year old.For the 3 year old...we are mastering the basics of TimeOut, and BedTime.

We started discipline from the beginning...around 4-6 months when the kids would try and roll away while we were getting em diapered or dressed. We rolled em back, looked in their little faces and said No, while holding them still for about 5-10 seconds before starting again. 

Some friends ask me for help with their teens...sorry I am not there yet....I am 9! :)

Don't forget to pray for your little ones too...the Bible speaks about discipline too!! 

If you are at your witts end, just remember-1 you are not alone, 2-you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength, 3-Consistency,and simplicity!!

 

 

Question of the Day

How do I ask for what I need?

It has been presented to me that I may be selfish. I am trying to figure out how, what I can do to change that, or how I can ask what I need without sounding selfish or be perceived as selfish.

Here is a link to a recent artical I found to be interesting: http://www.dailybusinessreview.com/PubArticleDBR.jsp?id=1202587225666&Study_Married_couples_who_abide_by_traditional_gender_roles_have_better_sex_lives&slreturn=20130614165748

I want to quote it here: "Couples who follow traditional gender roles around the house—wives doing the cooking, cleaning, and shopping; men doing yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance–reported greater sexual frequency."

So what about those couples where both parents are working? Well, I don't want to give away the ending for you.

I am a Strong Woman and Strong Person. People who are strong are considered the Rocks, the glue that holds everything together, the people that don't breaks, don't need breaks. They don't complain, they don't share much of what they are going through or their perspective cause they are more concerned about others. I take care of those around me, to the point of doing it for them to make sure they are happy, and shining. I don't let those around me FAIL. That is a 4-letter-word in my life. "Failure is not an option" Eugene F. Kranz or "Do or Do not there is no try" Yoda

God knows we will fail though!!1 Peter 1:24, Proverbs 24:16, Jeremiah 8:4-5, Ephesians 2:8-9

My glue is old, and breaking. I am tired. I NEED to be taken care of, treasured. The people who I love and care about though don't know how to do that. I have been unhealthy, allowing people to use me how they see fit, abuse me, abuse myself, allowed Codependency vs teaching Inter-Dependency.

Here are links for the definitions of those words:
Codependency-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
Inter-Dependency-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interdependence

How do I ask for what I need, from people who are co dependent on me? I googled this question and these are links the results:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111111114620AAsZX3S
http://www.here-to-listen.com/codependency-signs.html

This one is cool...is it a test! http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-You-Are-Codependent

This leads me just to say what I need, straight-out.
*Foot Massages
*Manicure, Pedicures
*Flowers
*Jewelry
*Sex
*Time Alone
*Walks in the woods
*Camping
*Long Drives
*Movies
*Play-Time (games of all sorts)
*Cuddles
*Given Tissues when needed
*Grace, All the Time!! Cause it turns out I am human too!!
*Time with Friends
*Romanced
*New clothes
*To Sing, Dance
*Organize
*Decorate
*Scrapbook
*Be crafty-Mod Podge does amazing things!!
*The Zoo-Animals are windows to my soul-why? I answer your questions of why with another question...what do animal need, and that is what I need too!
*Beach-the Open Ocean
*Vacation
*Write, or Blog

I don't need all of these things all the time, but I need all of these things now and then. If I deny what I need, I am denying who I am. I get to be excited about these things without worrying that the people I love are going to be jealous!! I am sure moms everywhere have list like this somewhere...it may not be the same stuff or needs, but a list of our heart desires. Things we wish, that we don't talk about cause getting carrots for our little ones trump all.

If you are married, your spouse has a list too. There has to be compromise between the two of you to meet each other's needs. Ultimately what I don't do, has to get done...and if your partner isn't up for it, you can't do it.

Being ok with that, and having a good attitude of love and grace will help. How my loved ones will respond to this I don't know. I can't control that, or fit it for them. I can only be the best me I can be everyday, and I pray God can do the rest.

Summer...Rest..Relax...Recharge

I find myself with less to do these days. So not complaining!!

This weekend I became one with my couch>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I know I am weird for taking a picture of myself, but you will get over it.





We had a great 4th of July>>>

These are all the Sheldon kids -1! They are sooo precious!:

We went to our first mini golf course...so fun!!

More Family Fun to come yet!! I am kinda taking a break from big insights and letting what I have been learning soak in. It is nice to find peace and contentment after so many years of carrying around so much unforgiveness, bitterness, insecurity and unhappiness.

If you are a mom out there...take time to enjoy your kids!! It is crummy to look back of pictures and know how miserable you were the day it was taken cause you chose to be angry, sad, or something else. I know-cause I have the TShirt for that one.

Blaine WA-Fun Beach time!!!

 Pool and Craft Day!!

Girl Scout Camping!!

Trek In the Park: http://www.atomic-arts.org/

Woodland Park Zoo:

Next Adventure::: Back to School Shopping, and yes I did wait till the very last minute this year...and it is OK! :)