Question of the Day

How do I ask for what I need?

It has been presented to me that I may be selfish. I am trying to figure out how, what I can do to change that, or how I can ask what I need without sounding selfish or be perceived as selfish.

Here is a link to a recent artical I found to be interesting: http://www.dailybusinessreview.com/PubArticleDBR.jsp?id=1202587225666&Study_Married_couples_who_abide_by_traditional_gender_roles_have_better_sex_lives&slreturn=20130614165748

I want to quote it here: "Couples who follow traditional gender roles around the house—wives doing the cooking, cleaning, and shopping; men doing yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance–reported greater sexual frequency."

So what about those couples where both parents are working? Well, I don't want to give away the ending for you.

I am a Strong Woman and Strong Person. People who are strong are considered the Rocks, the glue that holds everything together, the people that don't breaks, don't need breaks. They don't complain, they don't share much of what they are going through or their perspective cause they are more concerned about others. I take care of those around me, to the point of doing it for them to make sure they are happy, and shining. I don't let those around me FAIL. That is a 4-letter-word in my life. "Failure is not an option" Eugene F. Kranz or "Do or Do not there is no try" Yoda

God knows we will fail though!!1 Peter 1:24, Proverbs 24:16, Jeremiah 8:4-5, Ephesians 2:8-9

My glue is old, and breaking. I am tired. I NEED to be taken care of, treasured. The people who I love and care about though don't know how to do that. I have been unhealthy, allowing people to use me how they see fit, abuse me, abuse myself, allowed Codependency vs teaching Inter-Dependency.

Here are links for the definitions of those words:
Codependency-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
Inter-Dependency-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interdependence

How do I ask for what I need, from people who are co dependent on me? I googled this question and these are links the results:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111111114620AAsZX3S
http://www.here-to-listen.com/codependency-signs.html

This one is cool...is it a test! http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-You-Are-Codependent

This leads me just to say what I need, straight-out.
*Foot Massages
*Manicure, Pedicures
*Flowers
*Jewelry
*Sex
*Time Alone
*Walks in the woods
*Camping
*Long Drives
*Movies
*Play-Time (games of all sorts)
*Cuddles
*Given Tissues when needed
*Grace, All the Time!! Cause it turns out I am human too!!
*Time with Friends
*Romanced
*New clothes
*To Sing, Dance
*Organize
*Decorate
*Scrapbook
*Be crafty-Mod Podge does amazing things!!
*The Zoo-Animals are windows to my soul-why? I answer your questions of why with another question...what do animal need, and that is what I need too!
*Beach-the Open Ocean
*Vacation
*Write, or Blog

I don't need all of these things all the time, but I need all of these things now and then. If I deny what I need, I am denying who I am. I get to be excited about these things without worrying that the people I love are going to be jealous!! I am sure moms everywhere have list like this somewhere...it may not be the same stuff or needs, but a list of our heart desires. Things we wish, that we don't talk about cause getting carrots for our little ones trump all.

If you are married, your spouse has a list too. There has to be compromise between the two of you to meet each other's needs. Ultimately what I don't do, has to get done...and if your partner isn't up for it, you can't do it.

Being ok with that, and having a good attitude of love and grace will help. How my loved ones will respond to this I don't know. I can't control that, or fit it for them. I can only be the best me I can be everyday, and I pray God can do the rest.