40 days of Lent-Making Room

1. Lent (Latin: Quadragesima - English: Fortieth) is a solemn religious observance in the liturgical calendar of many Christian denominations that begins on Ash Wednesday and covers a period of approximately six weeks before Easter Sunday.
2. We have been learning this year all about Lent and making room for God in our lives during the 40 days before Easter. I have never participated in Lent before...this was my first time. I know a lot of people that have completed this journey. My moms, who comes from catholic backgrounds, know about Lent and have participated in journey's of their own. People can be very judgmental of people who chose to participate in this tradition or of those who chose not to. 
3. So I wanted to tell you my story of the first time I took part in Lent. 
4. The first day of lent was Feb 18, 2015 just after valentines day. The last time I was on Facebook (FB), as I choose to make room for more of God by not touching Facebook. I couldn't give up food, as I found with the diabetes, it is hazardous to my body. I couldn't give up on types of foods, since I have already gone gluten free since June 19, 2014. I don't have any issues with alcohol or drugs. My biggest time consumer is social media. I would argue that I spent close to 40 hours a week on Facebook. I am a spammer, a sharer of what I am doing, how I am doing, why I am doing, oh and look at this awesome video! This was going to be hard.
5. Earlier in 2014 I lost some close friends on FB, was hurt by FB as I learned of some parties and information there that I was not invited to or asked to be apart of. I was accosted and so I threw a fit, like most two-year-olds when they learn they are not the most popular or picked last for the games.I dumped people that were not interested in me and was very picky as to who I re-friend-ed. I even went so far as to disconnect FB all together in my fit, which only lasted about 4 hours. I was 35 going on 2! From that lesson, I didn't want to turn the app off my phone during this time as I learned how hard it was to get everything back, and I feel like Lent is learning your powers of self control among other lessons.
6. By the first Sat-Feb 21st I had racked up over 100 updates....in case you didn't know the app stops counting updates when you get to 100. No problem, I thought, I got this. We did our normal routines, Tuesday Bible Study, Sunday church and bible class. I didn't feel like anything was different. I didn't feel different, just a wanting to know what was going on with people. 
7. Sunday-Feb 23rd I wrote and posted, 'What I believe.' This was emotional for me and I felt very vulnerable after posting that. I stayed up most of the night thinking through all the things people would or could say about it. Hubby said it was my way of getting a thicker skin by being available to say what I believe and not caring about what people may say.
8. By Feb 28 I was feeling the wanting very strongly and a need to tell everyone my kid was selling Girl Scout cookies at her first site sale of the year. I did what I have done the last 4 years of site sales. I took her picture and posted it on Face Book. That night when I got home and told my hubby he looked at me and said, 'What!?!? You were on Facebook, I thought you gave it up for Lent.' I said, 'No I just shared a picture on FB I didn't check it.' He gave me a look, and I felt like umm...I think that maybe something I should not do. I was walking a slippery slop to just giving up my fast all together. I went through the rest of the weekend with taking pictures, and video, but not sharing.
9. The next week was 'Retreat' weekend where I got to go on a women's retreat and stay overnight for two nights away from my hubby and kids. This was the fist time in 4-5 years that I had done this. History had proven staying overnight away from home did not yield positive results with my marriage or with my kids and I was anxious to go. On Friday, March 6th I spent the morning texting with the person at work who was taking over my job while I was gone for 5 days...it was his first week on the job and I had spent March 2-5 training him to be me. I fretted over this and that, talked with my mom, shopped for some last minute items, and watched some tv before heading out-late.
10. The weekend was not anything life changing or momentous, however I felt my shoulders drop by about two inches the further away from town I went. I was wound up tighter than a pencil sharpener on the first day of school. I came back full-spiritually full, physically fully relaxed, and happy. My hubby had the house all cleaned up and all the laundry done. That Monday, as I was home alone for longer than I had ever been before I did a craft, watched tv for longer than I intended and didn't think even once about Facebook. 
11. Then there was March 10-Owen's birthday. I took lots of pictures, and videos and yearned to share them with my family and friends. I texted with people and had conversations on FB messenger, which is a separate app, but there was heavy discussion as to whether or not this counted as cheating. I  didn't think so cause it wasn't like I was on it all the time, and the only time I was on it was to respond to people who were reaching out to me.
12. During this time we have been working with Rachel's school to get her some extra help. I had to fill out all kinds of paperwork, work with the school psychologist which is what lead me to post, 'the psychology of it all' and 'dealing with AdHd.' March 16th was a culmination of all the hard work hubby and I had been doing to get Rachel help since she was in Kindergarten. Our 4th board meeting with 8 specialists all working on understanding my daughters needs in order to learn. Well, that day she got what she needed! YAYAYAYAYAYYA
13. March 17th though was the culmination of hard work that God was doing in my heart for the last ummm 2-3 years. With the help of our bible study participants and God I entered into a new level of health that I have never experienced to date. People laid hands on me and prayed with me. I was able to share my vulnerable heart and it was accepted and cared for. All of a sudden I had confidence in being who God has made me to be. I a new creation! The next day, March 18th, the gap in relationship I had experienced  with my younger sister in law since it opened the last time I shut off Facebook as filled in . She encouraged me, and I was able to encourage her!
14. March 20th I messed up on an account and instead of breaking down and feeling paralyzed I was able to take care of the mistake with a pose and professional brevity I had never done before. March 23-27th was the longest week of now FB ever as I learned from a party March 21st all the fun stuff of people's lives I was missing out on. Every break I was temped to bring the 100 updates back down to 0. Every lunch I forced myself onto Pinterest instead of the lovey f button. I faithfully read the two bible plans I chose on my Bible App and after the week of 3/16-3/20 rested in the quiet peace God had made this time for me. 
15. Today as I look forward to Good Friday, Easter and a grand party at our place. I also look forward to reconnecting onto the social media. I don't know if this time has changed my addiction and probably won't know that till I re-enter the digital world, but I re-enter it a different person. Another layer of healing has taken place in me. People at work, in my family and my friends have all seen a change in me. I have seen a change in me. I am stronger, better, healthier version of me than when I started this on Feb 18th.