Messy, Fun, Christmas

I have a friend who is in ministry and did a talk on getting messy, and having it be ok. That God accepted our mess and chose to come anyway understanding we aren't perfect. That is what Jesus came to us for-to help us with our mess, to have our mess be ok! I love this picture!!!

I have struggled so much with perfection....to the point where I stopped living or even starting feeling defeated before I began. I was worried I wasn't good enough, I couldn't do it the way I saw it in my head so I just didn't. I used to own the original Nintendo...with Super Mario Brothers, Pac-man, Lion King Game, Tetris and the only game I really played was Tetris...and still love that game along with Soda Crush and my new addiction, Candy Crush. But the reason I never played the others...is because one time I had a neighbor-friend show me how to save the princess in Super Mario Brothers. When I tried to replicate his movements I found my hand-eye coordination could not make Mario jump when I wanted or run, so I could never get past the castle from 1.3. I gave up, and never tried to save the princess. Now and then I will try again on my WII, and show the kids how to do it, but still I feel defeated.

This year, my goal is to reclaim my fun by jumping in and trying....everything. I got 'Wreck this Journal' for christmas today. I looked through a few pages and almost started crying cause I was afraid to do what it said, to rip pages and play! I am afraid to play. I tell the kids I can't play cause I don't share very well, but the truth is I am afraid. I am afraid I will get too messy or ruin all the fun. I am afraid of so much that I just don't before I even try. By not playing though, I am missing the fun. I am missing a vital part of who I am. I am missing on trying to see what happens, on enjoying life.

Step 1-Play games with kids
Step 2-Play with 'Wreck this Journal'
Step 3-Have a food fight
Step 4-Play in the mud-go on a mud run
Step 5-Stomp in puddles
Step 6-Throw dirt
Step 7-Have a water fight
Step 8-Wreck something I care about
Step 9-Break a dish or vase
Step 10-Take a photo of each step and write about the experience

I do so solemnly promise to do my best to complete each task before the start of 2016. I will allow myself to cry, to feel, to be anxious about doing this, to have fun! Want to join me?? Tell me about it! Tell me how you play!

Happy Birthday to me!

Well, I am officially 36 today! Birthday's always seem to make one look back, but I have looked back so much I feel like if I look back any more, I may just get stuck there. I have been stuck there for a very long time...but I am free, victorious, and healing.

Therefore, I look to the future, what is to come, new traditions, and a new way of life. I have gone gluten free since about June or July, I think. Since I have found I can't have any gluten without getting very sick-headache for about an hour and a half, tummy issues, and this drugged feeling or what doctors call brain fog, lots of joint pain and my sugars probably go up a bit.

Adventuring in eating out is not so much fun, cause you don't know if they put flour in the gravy...or fry the potatoes in the same oil as the breaded chicken. Flour has become my enemy!!!

I have a new diabetes doctor, that has changed my medication, and I am feeling like a new woman the last two months. I have been able to stop taking metformin all together now. Jay got the elliptical working...and I have been getting on that twice a week when I am not working 10 hour days. Does the future bring more talk about my health?? Hopefully it gets better, no worse from here.

It is nice the kids are older...we were able to play dominos together for a whole hour tonight before the little one was done. They get into their shows and their own projects leaving Jay and I to cook and bake for a few hours at a time.

Jay and I have lots of projects for the house, and my thoughts and ambitions are so much larger than the time and energy I have to put into them. Over all I am happy...Happy for all the blessings I have this year to come, all the fun we get to have together, all the progress we get to make in our careers, with our finances, in parenting, with our health(spiritually, emotionally, and physically), It will be hard, I will cry, and we might fight, but every day will be worth it!

Happy December

 I have been able to put out all my christmas decorations out for the first time...EVER! We hosted our first Thanksgiving and are looking forward to hosting Christmas! We love our house....I have not one bad thing to say about our move. Cleaning is easier, life is easier, the kids are happier, I am getting more exercise, I have projects galore, our friends are not too far away, we are in a central location, and we have our whole life ahead of us.

 Work is busy...my busy is busy and I am feeling needed. My daughter is floundering in school, I was just talking to some friends tonight about what I need to do to help her. I am thinking I need to spend some time poping into the school this next year as I am not confident she is ready for Jr High. I am praying that wisdom and help in making sure she is ready is my high priority at this time. I don't know how non working parents do it, or other working parents, but I have to trust in the school and teachers to make sure my girl is learning all she needs to. Every parent teacher conference gives me news of how she is struggling, but  not how to fix it or give us steps to help her. I work some at home with her, but we can only do so much if the few hours we have together. 

Hope you have some good plans for this month...this is my busy time of year, so much to do!!